Peanut Penguin Snowboarding has it all. He’s got the gear, the stance, and a flawless heel-to-toe turn. There’s just one problem: he really, really doesn’t like the cold.

His approach? Hit the slopes early, nail a run or two, then retire to the chalet with a hot chocolate and a hairdryer down his coat. He says it's about “optimising core temperature”. Winter Puppy calls it “snow-dodging”. (He’s not wrong.)

Still, Peanut’s a thrill-seeker at heart. Give him blue skies, low winds and an après-ski playlist, and he’s carving like a pro. Just don’t expect him out in a blizzard. Or before 10am. Or without thermal socks pre-warmed by Ricky Rain Frog’s radiator.